Today was kind of a bad day. I've had about 2 hours of sleep over all. New job isn't turning out quite how I thought it would. I know it was my first day and all, but it's already turning into something I didn't think it would. And it resulted me in getting late to old job, which made me feel bad because, well, I just feel like a failure there and everywhere. I just feel like I'm not good enough to be hired permanently.
Both jobs are temporary. New job probably won't turn into a permanent gig, and if it does, it'll probably be part-time with a severe pay cut and no benefits. And I feel stupid about the freelance client I got because I just barely got them. It almost feels like they're taking pity on me. I know they're just taking "a chance," but for some reason it just feels like charity to me.
And it makes me feel stupid. And shitty. Especially at new job. Tomorrow I just need to stand up to them and tell them what I was expecting out of this new job, and they can take it or leave it. I don't know. I just feel bad. Maybe it's just the lack of sleep and food. Maybe I'm just shitty at what I do. I don't know where I'm going with this anymore. I'm going to sleep.
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