i love you the way a gorilla loves a kitty

so i start housesitting for lyman today. i have to go pick up keys during my lunch break. only i find myself not all the excited about it anymore. i think it's mostly because my birthday is coming up. and i really hate my birthday. i always try to make the most of it, but it never really works. something always happens, and i get disappointed, and i usually end up crying myself to sleep. it's a bitter cycle. and the bad thing is, i always go in with no expectations, thinking i won't be disappointed, but i always am. i'm even now still toying with the idea of not doing anything this year. the only thing i had planned so far was going to see the transgressors at ego's, since they coincidentally are playing on my birthday. and that can't go bad because i like them. i think it's mostly that i've been having another bad year. and i don't really feel like commemorating it. and i really don't care if i'm misspelling. gah. ok, it's too early in the morning to be feeling depressed. i'm going to go have a cig, come back, go through craigslist, and see if there's anything there that's post-worthy.