That's Thursday night, not last night, you fucking 'tard!

So, via Gawker, I discovered this lovely article by the American Journalism Review today about editorial pet peeves. So it got me to thinking about what pet peeves I had that I enforced, using "it's style" as my backup (and always got away with it, because that people that asked me such questions very rarely looked in the stylebook to see if I was right or not). So here are a few of my pet peeves that I can remember from my good, ol' copy editing days:

• Never use "yesterday" or "tomorrow." I really, really hate yesterday and tomorrow. They're vague words. If you're reading Thursday's newspaper on Friday, you'll think an event that happened on Wednesday happened on Thursday, or that something happening on Friday is actually happening on Saturday. That's how I always saw it, and that's why I enforced it. I think it goes back to this time when I was editor in chief at the school paper at UT-Brownsville (which was a weekly paper), and I got confused and thought the financial aid deadline was the next day, when it was actually a week away. That was the start of my hate for yesterday and today.
• Never use "last" unless you mean "final." Yeah, this was another one. I hate last. Last means final. It's not last Saturday, it's this past Saturday. This past summer, not last summer. Get it? If not, eat me.
• Did you just use "kick off"? Is this a sports story? Then you better fucking change it, you fucking 'tard!
• The first rule of "myriad": you do not use "myriad" in a headline. The second rule of "myriad": you do not use "myriad" as a noun. The third rule of "myriad": if you use "myriad" in an article, you're a pompous ass who thinks they're uber-intelligent and are going to spice up their article with a 50 cent word. You're not smart; you're a fucking fuck-tard, you fuck-tard.

I know there are others, but those are the ones that come to the forefront of my mind. If you used to work with me, or you have your own analities, shot me a comment.