Smoke break observations

• Overheard a woman saying that she didn't start smoking until she was 37. When asked why, she said "That's when I had my stroke." Because, you know, that's the perfect time to start smoking. Right?
• This guy had serious junk in his trunk. It was odd. And very unproportionate, as junk goes. It's like, this guy was completely, completely skinny, but he had this huge ass that looked like he was wearing a strap-on ass, or something to that effect. It was a little disconcerting.
• I smoke way too fast.