To the big, fat asshole who knocked at my door a couple of minutes ago

Look, it's really my fault for answering the door and wasting both of our time. I had a bad day at work. All I wanted to do was sit back, watch the rest of Seinfeld, and eat my broccoli and cheese rice. That's all. I don't need your fat ass coming to my door and trying to scam me into buying magazines off you so you can win a trip to Spain. Whoop-de-fucking-do. I'm sorry you couldn't find another way of making money, but that's not really my fault, now, is it. And does high-fiving people really help you shill mags? Now, come on. And just because I live in a neighborhood where a bunch of college students live and that I'm "young" does not mean I am a college student nor that I would be willing to buy mags off you, even if I didn't have to pay you up front. Now, please, don't darken my doorstep again. And get a better attitude, ass. Maybe instead of a trip to Spain, you could get some lipo. So, yeah, fuck off. That's all.