have i mentioned ...

That I hate living paycheck to paycheck? Because I do. The one good thing about this month is that I just sent off my last payment ever for my car. Which means it's all mine (legally). Mine, I say! The bad thing about said last payment: it's about $215 more than my regular payment (it's because Ford Credit doesn't charge you your late fees for late payments and all that shit until the very end, which is kinda shitty, because I would've rather payed the late fees; on second thought, I probably wouldn't have been able to pay the late fees considering that I was only late with my payments for the 2.5 years I was at school in San Marcos; sigh).

So that'll make this month a little tight, money-wise. Not too tight. It just means less comics buying for me. And that's a luxury. Gah.

I should try and call up my freelance editor to see if there's any work I can do, but I'm too depressed to do it. I mean, there's probably a reason I haven't gotten any freelance work from them for the past four months. I probably fucked something up on my last assignment and they just don't want to give me more work. Or maybe I pissed off my editor. Or maybe they just don't like me anymore.

Or, the most realistic, there just isn't any work right now. Gah.

I need a kitty.

Also, I'm going to try and not drink this month. I think I need a month of sobriety, a month of a clear head to see what I want to do with my life at this point. I've been thinking about going back to school (only in little lapses and fugue states here and there), but that's really not a real option because I can't afford it (especially since of the six classes I still need for my degree, three of them would be classes I'd be taking for the third time, and my last semester at SWT, they passed a rule saying that the third time you take a class that you haven't passed that you have to start paying out-of-state tuition for that class; yeah, that fucking bites). I also need to decide if I want to stay at my job or not. I really don't want to, but I'm making good money, and now that I don't have my car payment anymore, I could actually funnel some money back into my savings account. I'd really like to go back to the job I had before working here, but I just don't know if I'd be comfortable going back to a temporary gig that I probably won't get hired for permanently at the end of the session. There may be an editor position open, but I more than likely wouldn't even be considered for it because I don't have my degree. Gah. I've already decided I'm not going to move and just renew my lease in July because I just don't feel like moving. I don't feel like packing, I don't feel like trying to find someone with a truck or renting a UHaul or asking people to help me move because, well, it seems that's the only time I ever talk to people. And plus my dad is going back to Iraq at the end of July, too. And I still have to decide if I want to try and be friends with Darien.

And I need a kitty. Gah. That's all.