bear autofellatio

a quick search of the ol' blawg shows that i haven't shared this story on here before, although i'm sure most of you who actually know me have heard this story.

several years back, i had these two friends named cheriese and hiram. cheriese wanted to have one last hoorah before going off to college in ohio*, so the three of us decided to head up to san antonio for the weekend. the main thing cheriese really wanted to do was go to the san antonio zoo. we spent almost all of saturday at the zoo, but the most memorable thing happened when the zoo was closing (typical for "last call). one of the animals closest to the exit was some bears (don't ask me what kind of bear; they're all big and brown/black/white/panda to me). looking at the bears were the three of us and a family of four (two being smallish children in age probably ranging from 5–7).

we all stared at where the bears should be, but the stage was empty. then, as if on queue, a bear walks out, sits down upright, his penis springs up, and then he goes to town**.

the parents were, of course, shocked. the children asked "what is the bear doing, mommy?" the father answered "nothing, we have to go" and started directing the children towards the exit.

so there you go. enjoy your tuesday.

*which never happened; she ended up staying in brownsville and having a baby like most other people with whom we went to high school.
**ok, sure, he was probably just "cleaning" himself, but it's much better to feel like he thought he had to perform a sex act to keep the crowd entertained.