i'm not a diva ... right?

yes, there are other posts i've been working on. and yes, i'm pushing them back even more because of the fucking week i've had. and why? because of the new old job.

oy. fucking oy. (notice i didn't say frakking or fricking oy. it deserves the fuck. fuck. fuck. fuck. fuck!)

ok, so it's probably not that bad. i'm probably just making a mountain out of a molehill (although i really hate using that expression, i'm too drainbead to think of anything else). but ... you'd think that after the lengths these people went through to get me back, that some simple fucking requests would get taken care of.

like the fact that i requested a pc before i even started, got stuck with a mac, and have been told since monday that i would get a pc, and as of 2:30 today when i left to work from home, and still not gotten a pc. it's not so fucking hard, people! i'm sure we have plenty of them laying around somewhere in that fucking place. but nope. i get stuck with the mac.

if you know me, you know i am not the most mac savvy person. to say i hate macs would probably be an understatement. yes, they look pretty, and i understand they let you do things prettier when it comes to web and other design stuff, and i don't think any lower about my friends that own macs. it's what they like, and i respect that. my hatred is self-contained. but yeah, i fucking hate macs. every mac i've ever worked on would constantly fuck up on me, often leading to me losing whole layouts i'd spent the day or just a couple of hours working on. and there were always other problems associated with them. blah blah blah. anyway. this mac i've been forced to work on is no different. i can't log on to the server, which i kinda need access to. my cube buddy, lori, had been signing on with her info, but if she's logged on her computer, we can't log me on. so i end up having to go over to interactive to use the pc they have over there, only i can't stay on it long because they are constantly using it to check shit.

i just want to look for an old document on the fucking server so a fucking account exec will stop bothering me. that's. fucking. all.

also, it keeps freezing kut on me. kut never freezes on my pc at home. just saying ...

what kinda pisses me off even more is that when i mention that i still haven't gotten my pc, everyone is still astonished. my "boss". the AE that instrumented my return. our hr lady. but you know what, the IT guy has made it abundantly clear that getting me a different computer is at the bottom of his priorities, so since i know that, i haven't bothered to ask him why the fuck i can't access the server.

and i find myself quoting alison quoting kramer: "i don't even really work here."

the fact of the matter is ... the place hasn't gotten any better since i've left. if anything, it's gotten worse. lots of things have fallen to the wayside, and i have no one really to blame except my successor/predecessor and sindhi's successor, who essentially stopped doing whole chunks of process because they didn't think it was necessary or because they just plain didn't want to do it. when this was first told to me, i knew that's how colleen must've felt a lot of the time when she was still working there. i even asked my co-worker lucy "is steam coming out of my ears right now? because it sure feels like it is." after she told me that my successor/predecessor actually said "one person can't be expected to catch every thing."

um, yeah, no you fucking are. you were the proofreader. that fact that you were the only one pretty much sums up you're expected to catch every motherfucking thing, asshole!

what pissed me off even more was then i found out that they stopped superscripting registration marks and trademarks because my successor/predecessor said there was nothing in the that client's styleguide that said they had to be superscripted. um, yeah, it's on the second fucking page of the fucking styleguide, you fucking douchenozzle!

if i ever run into this guy anywhere, i think i may be liable to punch him. i really, really do.

then there's my former supervisor sindhi's replacement (an asshole that used to work there named todd). yeah. so he and my successor/predecessor got together and told the AE for a client that does a lot of international work that they were going to stop putting the addresses of the foreign offices on the foreign newsletters because on the foreign homepages for that client, they list the US office as the main contact. and that's total complete bullshit.

then, then i found out that the final QC that happens before we blast e-mails hasn't always been happening. now, for little measley one-offs, i can understand. but for all the fucking international newsletters we do for one client ... again, i think steam came out of my ears. i used to catch so many things during that final QC, like data not showing up in a database, or a form not populating the right text.

the fucked up thing is, every one is kinda looking to me to help fix shit. and i really don't know if i'm up for it.

i've been having some IM conversations with the new traffic guy (who doesn't really work there, like me) about how fucked up shit is. my second day there, i told him if he needed any help figuring something out or how to tactfully push back on something, to let me know and i'll help him out because, even though i've been gone a year, i still know these two clients better than most of the people there. he said "i had three days with todd, i think i'm good." i grimaced and repeated my statement. he seems like a nice guy, but completely overworked. and part of me wants to take some of the workload off him like i used to do with sindhi (and then denise), but you know what, i'm not getting paid enough to do that. i'll talk to the AEs and say "yeah, we don't do shit like that" and explain to them why, but i'm not there to do traffic. and right now, i kinda wish i were, because i would seriously push back on sooooooooooo much shit.

but i'm not. i'm there to proof and QA, and i can't even really do the QA part because, well, every thing we build is on a mac, so i'm not going to find anything wrong on a mac. i need a pc to properly QA these e-mails and websites.

gah. fucking gah.

there's not enough alcohol in the world.