giving up

so yeah, i think the title of this post says it all. i'm giving up. on many things. for a long time, i've been secretly optimistic. secretly. because i'm always very overtly pessimistic. call me a realistic idealist. but recent events have made me rethink things. so i'm giving up. i'm giving up on the idea of finding a job i love where i love the people i work with and the work environment. i'm giving up on finding a guy. i'm giving up on love. wait, that almost sounds like a carpenters song. i guess i'm giving up on expectations. i'm going to quit expecting for good things to happen to me, because they never do. and if you don't have expectations, you can't be disappointed. so that's what i'm doing. maybe it'll help me be less neurotic (although i highly doubt that). but maybe it'll help me keep some friends, of which i am currently lacking quite a bit. it might even help me in the trust department, which has also hampered me in the friend and relationship departments. but yeah. no more expectations from me, either negative or positive. nothing. let's see how it goes.