upfronts, day 2: electric bugaloo

ABC and The WB released their fall schedules today, and they are chock full of crap. what is happening to the state of tv?

The one good thing ABC finally did was put Less Than Perfect and 8 Simple Rules out of their misery. Less Than Perfect hasn't been the same since, well, it's second season in 2003 when Will Sasso and Patrick Warburton were added to the cast. The additions just fucked with the tempo and chemistry of the show, which was supposed to be about Claude (the always funny Sara Rue) and her kinda idiot friends (Andy Dick and Sherri Shepherd). 8 Simple Rules, which suffered from the loss of John Ritter in the fall of 2003 made a valiant effort to go on with the show, but the additions of James Garner and David Spade just weren't enough. On the plus side, Katey Sagal finally got to be the lead star of a show, if it only was for two seasons.

ABC also kinda fucked up by canceling Eyes, which was getting pretty good until they abruptly canceled it after it's fourth episode.

Now here's the lowdown on the crap ABC did greenlight. First off, there's Commander-in-Chief, a drama staring Geena Davis as the first female president of the United States. Yawn. Then there's Freddie, a sitcom staring Freddie Prinze Jr., who plays a chef/lothario who has all the females in his family move in with him. Can't he just let SMG support him? Then there's one of the real estate shows I wrote about earlier, a sitcom staring Nicole Sullivan (MADTv) titled Hot Properties. Yeah. I won't be watching that either. The last I'll mention is a drama called The Night Stalker. If you're expecting a show about serial killer Richard Ramirez, you'll be sorely disappointed to find out this show stars Stuart Townsend (Queen of the Damned, League of Extraordinary Gentlemen) as a crime reporter the FBI suspect of slaying his wife. Kinda sounds like The Fugitive, eh?

The WB isn't doing much better. The network canceled Jack & Bobby, which had potential but never really found its niche audience, as well as the ever-boring Steve Harvey's Big Time, Summerland, The Mountain, The Starlet, and Drew Carey's Green Screen Show. I'm still wondering why they didn't cancel Living with Fran ...

On the top of The WB's crap pile is Supernatural, staring Jensen Ackles (whose character was conveniently murdered last week on Smallville) and Jared Padalecki (whose character on Gilmore Girls won't be missed after his last shout-fest with Luke). The boys plays brothers who travel around in a '67 Ford Impala fighting supernatural forces and trying to find their missing father. Yeah. Maybe if they weren't brothers and instead got it on a lot (cause let's face, these boys a kinda hot), then, and only then, would I watch this Freakylinks/X-Files/Roswell crapola. Not that those three shows were bad. They weren't. sigh. Then there's the sitcom Twins, staring Sara Gilbert and Molly Stanton as fraternal twins who just have nothing in common. While I love Sara Gilbert, and this is a step up from her recurring role on ER, I didn't like the Arnold/Devito movie of the same name and concept, so I'll pass on this. There's other crap (I won't even go into the manure they're calling midseason replacements). So yeah.

Hey, at least The WB didn't cancel Gilmore Girls or Smallville, although it is moving the latter to Thursdays at 7 p.m., which will compete with my O.C. fix.

So yeah, nothing new I'll be watching so far.

Stay tuned for tomorrow when CBS releases their sked.