Channeling Maggie Estep

Call me an emotional idiot. So, TLW has referenced me as a"borderline internet-stalker." Whatever. Maybe I should just take this as a sign to move on. Wipe him out of my life. I know I've been getting enough signs of that today. Not just about TLW, but about MM as well. I found out, via Craigslist of all places, that MM is currently the features editor at the city paper back home. MM and I didn't end things well. And I know I don't want to open up that can of b.s. again. And I guess I was kidding myself with TLW. Especially if he posts on his blog that I'm "weird" and make him "uncomfortable." I guess I've been wrong about a lot of things. And it severely alters my schema on many things considering TLW has never left my mind once since 1998. The whole situation makes me feel completely stupid. Idiotic even. So yeah. I feel like an emotional idiot. It's not a nice way to feel. I feel like crying, but there's nothing. This is exactly why I try to not emote. Emotions get you nowhere. Sentimentality doesn't get you anywhere, either. All I know is all my notions of love and anything that refers to feelings just fell into the sewer. And I don't really care. Love is a myth. Comfort is a myth. The clock is ticking, ticking, going tic, tick, tick, tick. OK, I think I'm going to listen to the Geraldine Fibbers and that dog and go to sleep. Numbness will just have to be the rule from now on. Whatever.