Today's realization

I'm glad I am not part of the gay community. Seriously. And before you read further, go with this knowledge: I'm not self-loathing; I just hate everyone else.

I know there might--and I use might as a qualifier to mean that there's a very, very, very slim chance--that there are other gay guys out there that have the same interests in me and are not fucking flamers or full of drama. I just don't think they exist. And if they do, they hide themselves well.

But back to why I'm glad I'm an outsider from the gay community. I don't understand why anyone would want to ghettocize (and I mean that in the true meaning of the word, not the slang) themselves. I've never gotten a welcome feeling from the community, let alone other gays, especially those around my age. And one look on MySpace or Friendster or even Cragislist shows how superficial most gay men are. And I like to think of myself as not. I go on these sites and look up the gays in Austin. And most, well, the only word is a resounding, angry GARAGHRHAHAH! Why do gay men have to be self-fulfilling stereotypes? Or at least most of them are. These are the men that go to gay bars, and the reason I go to gay bars only around once per year to remind myself why I don't go. I'm not into meat markets. I don't care if you have abs of steel. I don't care if you have a 10-inch cock. I don't care what labels you wear. I don't care how much crystal meth you can smoke or coke you can snort. I don't care how many fruity drinks you can drink. Or how many guys in the club you've slept with. I care if you have a brain and can talk about anything that actually requires using the gray matter you've already abused beyond recognition.

I know this is a glowing over-generality, but it's what I've mostly experienced.

Look. I'm a simple man. I shop at thrift stores. I drink beer and whiskey. I read almost anything, but especially comic books and memoirs and science fiction. I like punk rock and rock and mostly anything. I like going to see live music. I enjoy smoking cigarettes. I don't shave every day. I haven't cut my hair since December, and it's shaggy, and I like it like that. I don't work out. I don't look like an underwear model. I have a morbid sense of humor. I like horror movies. I like men that act like men, not like "boiz" or women.

I don't know where I'm going with this post anymore. I guess I'm just tired of being looked down upon by other homosexual men because I don't look like I just step out of a gay porn. And I'm tired of just being categorized as a gay man because that is the LAST thing I would categorize myself as. There is so much more to me than who I sleep with, but so many people can't get past certain things. It makes me happy that I have the friends that I have and that I'm not friends with all those other fuckheads out there. Gah. I really need a fucking cigarette now.

In closing, I'm a misanthrope. That's all.