so i saw speedy colt tonight, and they were great. i spent most of the night with hilary's mom, who was also great. it reminded me of why my parents would never show up to any of my bands shows even if i had let them know about the bands i was in.
but i started to get depressed when i went to barflys tonight. i just, being there, without jennifer, it felt flat. i just, i don't know what i did to make jennifer not like me. i, if i knew, then maybe i'd stop calling her. but i keep calling. i keep getting her voicemail. she never responds. it just makes me feel bad, because i don't know where it went wrong. and it didn't help that people would ask me about her, because we were tight, but, i just want to know where things went wrong. i can't think of anything. and it makes me really, really, really depressed. i try not think about it, but i can't.
man, now i'm just uber-fucking-depressed. i guess i'm just never going to have a really good friend that lives near me and confides in me and trusts me and wants me in their life. i guess i really am the loser i always thought i was.
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