And FLUSH the urinal!

Now that I've got your attention, here is the copy for a couple of signs (or a letter) I'd love to put up in the men's bathroom at work.

To place over the urinals: "Flush the fucking urinal! This isn't your bathroom at home, you know."

To place on the wall opposite the stalls, so you see if when you exit the stalls: "Fucking wash your hands you sick assholes, especially if you just took a shit. You know how you fucking are."

To place on the inside of the stall doors: "Two words: courtesy flush."

To place on the walls adjacent to the sinks: "Thanks for washing your hands. You're nifty."

To place on the walls opposite the sinks: "Why haven't you washed your hands, you sick fuck?"

To place on the door, so you see it as you exit the bathroom: "If you haven't washed your hands yet, turn right around and do so. Don't just fucking read this. WASH YOUR FUCKING HANDS!!!"