auntie social

so i thought i was going to be all psyched about seeing cat scientist tonight at hole in the wall because i haven't seen them in a while and i was hoping to run into old co-workers. but, like, as soon as i walked in, i just started feeling depressed and antisocial. i almost immediately went to the bar, got a beer, and headed out back to chainsmoke. i only momentarily waved hi to couple of people i knew. i don't know. i just keep on remembering stuff that happened the last time i was there. and i kept seeing shiny, happy couples, which only reinforced my return to singleton. i don't know. i hate when i get like this. and the sad thing is, i thought i was ready to start really going out again and socializing and stuff. but apparently i still have to depression to get out. so i just bought the new cat scientist cd and left. and now i'm home. depressed. and drinking water because i had way too much to drink yesterday. and i'm like uber-tight on cash for the rest of the month, especially since i just sent off my electricity bill today, and i wasted money yesterday (and today) that i shouldn't have spent. and i need to lose some weight. and i need to save money. i need to ride the bus. i need to hydrate more. i need to eat something other than junk food. gah. that's all.