Bestest comic ever!

So remember how I talked about Monsieur Mallah (the gay ape in love with a brain in a jar) a while ago? Remember how I said I hoped the writer of the Teen Titans comic book would acknowledge this love post Infinite Crisis?

Well, this week, Teen Titans 35 came out, and I was so, so, so HAPPY! I had to read it like 10 times. Why, you ask? Because the villians for this first One Year Later story arc are the Brotherhood of Evil, and their mission is to find a way to clone humans. Why? Because ... they want to clone a body for the Brain so he and Mallah can be happily gay together!

Yes, the Brotherhood wants to make the Brain's and Mallah's gay, interspecies love a reality ... again. And plus, we get to hear this from Brotherhood member Goldilocks directed towards Robin, the Boy Wonder: "Oh, it's true what the Brain says. You're very cute."

Yes, that's right, the Brain thinks Robin is cute. How much you wanna bet once the Brain gets his body, the first thing he and Mallah will do is some role-playing, with Mallah dressed up as Robin and the Brain taking advantage of him.

Geoff Johns, you've given us this much; can we please see the role-playing? Please? And maybe not see Elasti-Girl looking all hooker-ish next to her adopted son? Thanks!

In other news, this week saw the end of Infinite Crisis and the beginning of Marvel's Civil War. Austin Books celebrated by staying open until 10 p.m. Wednesday and offering free beer (a Shiner keg, no less) to those of age. Too bad I'm on the wagon this month or I would've been there talking about comics and trying to flirt with the cute guys that work there. Sigh.

Anyway. Infinite Crisis kinda ended on a whimper. Wonder Woman breaking her sword to convince Batman to not shoot Alex Luthor was pure bleh. And Bart is now an adult? Why? Because Wally became the Flash after Crisis on Infinite Earths? We know this just sets up Bart being the Flash in the new series. Or does it? Sneaky bastards. And why does Batwoman look like Terry McGinnis from Batman Beyond?

And please tell me it's not Barbara Gordon? She should NEVER be able to walk again. That was the whole point of her becoming paralyzed and becoming Oracle. Gah.

The Joker killing Alex Luthor (or creating a new Two-Face) was pretty fucking awesome, though.

As for Civil War, here's a drinking game that might make reading the comic, oh, interesting:

• drink when Speedball says/does something smarmy
• drink when you read "The Bondage Queen"
• drink when you hear about all the casualties
• drink when someone says "dead kids" or "babykiller"
• drink when someone says "the straw that broke the camel's back" or "enormous upheaval"
• drink when someone says "make them carry badges" or "respect the badge"
• drink when someone says "civil servants," "federal employee" or "super-cops"
• drink when Daredevil appears (because he's supposed to be in prison and all)

So can you guess I'm not going to be following this mini-series? I thought so. Heh.