Getting Up Front: Day 1

I'll prefice this post with this one thought: What the fuck is wrong with you, NBC, that you order yet another full season of your BEST comedy, Scrubs, and yet don't include it your fall schedule, leaving it to flounder around until you decide to bring it in as a midseason pinch hitter? What the fuck?! Really! Arrrrgggg!!!

OK, now that I got that out of my system, let's start with which shows didn't make the cut. Early cancellations Book of Daniel and Inconceivable are joined by Fear Factor (finally! I was wondering when TV viewers would finally get enough of people eatting raw cow innards and being bombarded by insects), Joey (another no brainer), Four Kings (sorry Seth Green; but hey, Robot Chicken is good!), Conviction (yet another Law & Order spin-off to fail), and Teachers (although not that funny, it did have Hallie!).

As for the new shows, NBC has scheduled at least one new show every night, some up against already established hits on other networks, which may prove a problem unless those hits are moved to other time slots, which probably won't happen. I'll cover this day-by-day.

Monday: I couldn't care less about Deal or No Deal. New show Heroes gets a shot at 8 p.m. The show focuses on a group of people who discover they have superpowers. And I'm sure a huge premise of the show is who will use their powers for good and who for evil. Sounds pretty interesting, although there's really nothing much else to go on. It does, however, star Jess from Gilmore Girls, so I'll be watching for him. Medium also got renewed for a third season, which means I will not have to find something new to watch at 9 p.m., and further ensuring that Patricia is now the most successful (and probably least fucked up enough to stay on primetime network TV) of the Arquettes. Good for her!
UPDATE (5/16, 9:15 a.m.): Comics Continuum has posted more info (and photos) about Heroes (scroll down, fourth item). This actually makes me want to see it more. Jess can fly! An indestructible cheerleader! A precog painter! It sounds really fucking awesome. Man. Now I have to wait until fall. Bummer. (And when exactly did I start chanelling Moon Unit Zappa?)

Tuesday: Friday Night Lights at 7 p.m. Need I say more? Pass. (I'll be watching Gilmore Girls, if it's still on at that time.) Kidnapped at 8 p.m. The premise: a wealthy kid gets kidnapped blah blah blah. Pass. Law & Order: SVU renewed yet again, ensuring I have something to watch at 9 p.m. Yay! I wonder how they'll out-do themselves. Maybe ... oh, who am I kidding; I can't come up with something sick enough to out perv SVU.

Wednesday: The Biggest Loser ensures Caroline Rhea has something to do. NBC goes out on a limb with an hour comedy block at 8 p.m. with new comedies 20 Good Years and 30 Rock. The former stars John Lithgow and Jeffrey Tambor as middle-aged men trying to make the best of their golden years. Think Golden Girls meets The Odd Couple. And it's Jeffrey Tambor! The latter is the much-touted Tina Fey comedy based on SNL, which stars her as the head writer (big stretch, I'm sure), Rachel Dratch (really?), Alec Baldwin as the Lorne Michales character, and Tracy Morgan (what? Really?). I love Tina Fey, but with this cast, it'll be hit or miss. I'll try out both comedies for a while until they either disappoint me or make me laugh. And I still won't be watching Law & Order: Regular.

Thursday: I won't be tuning in for any of this, but ... Earl and The Office got renewed for second seasons. Neither made me laugh, but I guess I'm in a minority there since, well, they were renewed. Then there's the other show loosely based on SNL, but only it's a drama and backed by Aaron Sorkin and is called Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip. Considering it stars Matthew Perry and the rumors (and facts) that have swirled about Sorkin's past, it might just play out like an E! True Hollywood Story. Still won't be watching it, as well as not watching ER, which, come on, should've been canceled several seasons ago. Sigh.

Friday: No big changes here. More Deal or No Deal. More Vegas. More Law & Order: Criminal Intent. And more of me not watching NBC on Fridays.

And joining Scrubs and Crossing Jordan in the midseason field are the following new shows:
Raines: Jeff Goldblum plays an eccentric detective and his cast is a bunch of people from a bunch of cancelled shows. Pass.
The Black Donnellys: It's The Sopranos, but only with a bunch of Irish characters and that lesbian girl from The O.C. Pass.
Andy Barker, P.I.: Poor Andy Richter. I've liked all of his failed shows to date (yes, even Quintuplets). This time around he plays a CPA who gets confused for a P.I. and decides to stick with it. And the show also stars Tony Hale (you know, Buster from Arrested Development). Sigh. I'll watch this if it ever makes it to air, and it'll probably be funny in a very madcap way. But it is Andy Richter, and considering his track record, you'd better enjoy the show for every second it's ever on. Because this show probably won't make it past mideseason 2007. Sigh.
The Singles Table: Another lame attempt at Friends, only with singles that meet at a wedding and become friends, and it stars one of the guys from Harold & Kumar. Sigh. Pass.

And that's my roundup. For more info on these shows, check out more proper coverage at Zap2It. And tomorrow, I attack ABC and change the color some of the words in my logo. Stay tuned ...
UPDATE (5/15, 9:30 a.m.): The Washington Post has even more proper coverage, including info on NBC's online ventures for the fall (third page).