bah humbug, or, the post-xmas consumer

so monday, that was christmas, right? i spent it by doing laundry, watching 24 hours of a christmas story on tbs (of which i only saw it maybe 3.5 times), and got drunk on my couch.

on friday, i received my christmas "gift" from my mother (this after a very nasty call i received from her that monday, which involved yelling and my hanging up on her). her "gift", of course, involved a bunch of crap that's gonna end up in the dumpster. there was the usual set of pajamas in, you guessed it, size XL. because in my parents eyes (or at least my mother's), well, to paraphrase margaret cho, when i sit around the haboku, i really sit around the haboku. gong.

(and in hindsight, and thanks to wikipedia, that margaret cho joke now makes no sense. or makes it funnier. i know the joke was about how she was in a show for asian comedians, and they wanted her to be more chinese. so maybe i'm spelling haboku wrong, or she really did mean to say [and to prove how not chinese she is] that someone was so fat, they sit around a type of painting. wait, maybe that is funnier.)

the "gift" also included some mexican candy that i never liked, some candy cane–flavored tea (to which i say, yuck!), some instant coffee, and an almost blank christmas card i almost missed that only had one sentence scrawled on it that proves my mother can combine guilt and sarcasm into less than 10 words (and plus, proves that she knows what sarcasm is, which is really the best gift of all).

seriously. gift card. when will people learn that's the right gift for me. or cigs and alcohol. you can't go wrong with any of those three. taking stabs at gifts you think i may like ... oy.

so today i did my self-gift giving (and why does that sound dirty to me?). i bought myself the 2007 k chronicles calendar and the passion of the keef (because i love me some keith knight). i also got this great shirt which is now my new favorite because it's geeky and self-deprecating. and it was about time for a new messenger bag. and some long boxes (because for some reason i feel too geeky to buy a long box at austin books.) and a new digital camera.

and now i'm all shopped out. it's tough work getting yourself the stuff you really want. and all without leaving my living room.

is 1 p.m. too early to start drinking?