why do i even fucking bother

the more and more time that passes, the more i just want to keep this blog and my flickr page and try to delete every other damn thing about me on the internet. ok, i know that's not really possible, but a guy can try, right?

today i deleted my match.com account, which was a joke to begin with. i had it for several years, hadn't logged onto it in about two, and was just tired of it. i think it was the only online dating profile i still had (besides the okcupid one i just started not too long ago and have already promptly ignored after the novelty wore off).

i know i should be all "online dating is the wave of the future" and "technology: fuck yeah!", but you know what ... no. most technology hates me or has a severe dislike of me. even good ol' slim was acting up on me earlier today, and he's only like six months old. my digital camera gave up on me months ago. my work computer and work lappie have both been hating me of late.

and online dating, now, it's always hated me, as evidenced by the specimens it's matched me with. there was mario, who i dated for about two months, and then he fell off the face of the earth, only to resurface about a year later because he turned up working with a friend of mine, and i confronted him, and he said that i reminded him of his uncle that had molested him. yeah. then there was mark, and i'm sure i've mentioned him before (i dated him for a couple of months, he broke up with me after i took him to a weezer concert because he thought that was too clingy, but he was already seeing other people, too). i don't count dar because we didn't really meet through a "dating" site.

don't even ask me why i still log on to gay.com. i don't understand it myself. i've had the same profile for about five or six years now, and i don't understand why; i should've deleted it and forgotten about the damn site years ago. i've never really become friends (chat friends, online friends, whatever) with anyone on there. there's been two, count them, two, guys that i met on there that i thought were cool enough and we had enough in common to be friends, and those fizzled out right away, and maybe four guys i thought were dating material, and those fizzled out faster than the friend guys.

and in the last four months alone, i've gotten comments about:

• how i look like i'm balding in my pic that's the back of my head (i'm not);
• why i don't have a face pic and how deceptive that is (if you need a face pic to talk to me, then don't message me and proceed to tell me about how a horrible person i am for not showing my face, you fucking faggots);
• if i do show them a face pic, they comment on how oily and disgusting my face is (for which i hope they become boo-urn victims);
• the guys that message me and say they've read my profile yet we have nothing in common and nothing to talk about (which leaves me wondering why they messaged me if obviously they knew we'd have nothing to talk about, and they have "boi" in their screenname, which makes me want to climb through my screen and strangle them and yell "that's not cute or clever, you fraking idiot");
• and, of course, the obligatory "you looking tonight?"

i don't ask for much in a friend or date. just someone who will tolerate me and my likes and who possibly has similar likes as mine other than that we both like men. (that latter "liking men" part is mostly for dates; you don't have to like men to be my friend, but it wouldn't hurt [which is possibly why i'm mostly friends with women].) and they should be smart, maybe even idiot savant-ish (it's geeky and i like it). and they should like cheese!

gah. i hate the internet. ok, it's just more i dislike it sometimes. meh.