"save the speeches for malcolm x; i just want to get laid."

so i was just at h-e-b buying another $3 worth of groceries (ramen and cheese), and there was this older (read: late 30s, early 40s) guy behind me in line. he taps me on the shoulder and says "you smell like you've slept in a humidor." i said "excuse me?" he repeated what he said.

now, i controlled myself rather well and didn't assault the guy. i did take a little offense, though. i mean, i haven't been smoking all that much lately. i've gotten down to about a cig every other day or every two days (i'm rationing to save money, not because i want to quit smoking). i did in fact have a cigarette today, but it was before i took my shower and went out to apply for food servicey jobs.

i know i probably do smell like a smoker. i've been smoking for over 10 years. my sense of smell has suffered for it, and i cannot in fact smell myself. if i smell like smoke, well, i've obviously gotten used to it. the fact that the majority of my friends are smokers, too, would probably lend itself to the fact that i do not know that i smell like i slept in a humidor. and even if my friends did think that, i hoped they'd have the tact to either not tell or at the very least subtly imply it.

now, i would've been fine with this random stranger telling me that i smelled like i slept in a humidor. but he went on to say how smoking will take years off my life, that his father is in the hospital right now because of smoking (yet didn't elaborate as to what disease his father was in the hospital for, just that it was smoking related), and that he's particularly sensitive to the smell of tobacco because he has a great sense of smell because he's a wine connoisseur.

it was that last remark that really pissed me off. so what if you're a wine connoisseur? i haven't been employed for about five months now. i've been living on a diet of almost completely ramen for about a month now. i'm running out of money, i'm very close to soliciting donations so that i can live, and i'm supposed to care that i'm offending your sense of smell because you're a wine connoisseur?

FUCK. YOU.

i just ignored him after the wine part. but through all my rage, all that was running through my mind was the scene from heathers where winona ryder is at the remington university party, and this guy comes up and suggests they have sex. she says "i have this speech for situations like this. gee blank, i don't" and then the guy cuts her off and says "save the speeches for malcolm x; i just want to get laid." and she says "you don't deserve my fucking speech."

the weird thing is, i felt like both of those characters in this instance. i felt like the guy because, well, i didn't go to h-e-b to get a lecture about the dangers of smoking; i went to buy "sustenance". and i felt like winona, too, because i have a speech that i give to people whenever somebody tries to give me a speech about the dangers of smoking, but this guy just didn't fucking deserve my speech.

grrrrr.