this and that

i'm off like a dirty shirt: on the way to one of my deliveries on friday, i saw a guy sitting the corner of 28th and nueces talking on his phone. now, this wouldn't have been notable except ... he was dressed like fucking duckie! it was just odd to see someone dressed like they stepped out of the '80s, but talking on a cell phone like they were in some high school movies from the '90s. weirded me out.

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plastic, fantastic?: sunday, i my second to last delivery of the night was to austin's very own "bachelor". honestly, i didn't really even think twice about it. since he's not a real celebrity. but here's what i got. he ordered mcdonald's. oy. secondly, he wasn't dreamy at all in person. he seemed ... plastic. very much a ken doll. he had perfect stubble. his hair was perfect. (which pissed me off. it was 11:30 p.m. no one's hair should look perfect at 11:30 at night. people should look like me at 11:30: hair wind disheveled and smelling like food and cigarette smoke.) and ... he was wearing flip-flops. if you know me well enough, you know i hate flip-flops with a passion. i have nothing against them as something to wear on laundry day or about the house, but when they go into public, that's where my hatred comes in. and see, while señor bachelor was, in fact, in his humble abode, i should not have hated him for wearing them. but since the rest of him looked so perfect and together, the flip-flops just added that dimension of hatred. like, oh, you worried so much about how the rest of you looked, but didn't give a shit about putting on actual shoes.

douche.

oh well, i can't complain any. he at least tipped ok. if he had tipped shitily, this would be an entirely different post.

but let me segue into this: if you live in a fancy schmancy place downtown, i hope you know you can probably afford to eat better than mcdonald's. earlier sunday, i had a delivery to the AMLI monstrosity on 2nd and lavaca. they ordered mcdonald's. it really kinda pissed me off because, well, these people are obviously privileged. they are living in places they probably had to buy or pay an exorbitant rent for. there are better places to eat in walking distance, and i'm sure if you paid a good amount could get someone there to walk it over to your place.

so why mcdonald's? why? i'm shit poor and i haven't eaten mcdonald's since probably my freshman year in high school. and secondly, there are much better food options from the delivery service i work for, that offer much better burgers and much better fries and other fried goodness. it may cost a bit more, but you're already ordering from us; why not order from someplace better? you've moved on up to the east side (so to speak); can you reflect that in your eating habits?

is that so much to ask?

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rage against the (human) machine: on my way to a pickup on sunday, i was at the intersection of salado and 26th. salado is a one-way street, emptying out on 26th. some guy in a truck turned on to salado, obviously in the wrong. there was a truck in front of me. it stopped. the driver, a rather muscley looking fellow, got out of his truck, went over to the truck that had turned wrongly on to salado, stuck his arms into the driver's open window, and started hitting him. i ... wanted to stay and see what happened, but i was on the clock. and, you know, maybe they knew each other and it was a light ribbing and not some sort of fight club-esque or roid ragey scenario. either way, i don't really care. probably just some over-privileged college kids. gah.

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i didn't need to see that: um, my crush on that certain austin java worker may have come to an end on sunday. while there for a pickup, he was working. he was wearing a wife beater. which, you know, normally i wouldn't mind, but when in a food-serving establishment, the last thing i want to see the underarm hair of someone taking my order who may or may not also be delivering my food.

also, i noticed his visible tattoos: a yin yang on one should, the outline of texas on the other. yeah. plus, this annoyingly large hispanic family was ordering while i waited for my pickup, and even though they never spoke any spanish to him, he insisted on speaking some spanish to them while they ordered.

yeah. i think i'm starting to side with jim on this guy's douche-osity.

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figures: so remember how i said i was having problems watching my stories (and the daily show) online, even though the ads played fine? i ended up bit torrenting the shows i was missing. finished downloading today. then i had a thought. even though i did check the sites last night to make sure they still weren't working for me, which they weren't, after i closed my torrent client, i went to the cbs site to see if the player would work. i clicked on friday's episode of y&r. the ad played. i expected nothing but silence after that. then, low and behold, playing perfectly. but being as pragmatic as i am, i ain't deleting said downloaded files until after i've seen them online. don't want to have to re-download stuff that i probably didn't need to download in the first place. blah.

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not an endorsement: so, you'll notice this post's title is "this and that". that was also the name of one of the community calendars i had to compile when i worked at the shitty seguin paper. i always hated it back then because, well, it was just such a shitty title. and sure, most of the listings were for elk's lodge meetings or bridge clubs or something you'd expect to see in a nursing home newsletter (and i really hated that, when people would call in something to me, having to ask "is this for this and that or one of the other calendars?"), but to me, the title "this and that" seemed a little derogatory to those people. i mean, to those people who attended those meetings and such, it was something important to them, at least socially. it just seemed like the title undermined these people and their organizations. i felt like that for about two weeks before i started to not care and learn to hate anything and everything associated with that horrible little town.

but for my post? it's ok. it was either that or calling it vignettes or shorties again. and we don't need that, now do we?