the ex factor

watching beyond the valley of the dolls, and for some reason it's got me thinking of guys i've dated in the past.

there was this one guy i dated years ago who was an officer at a local prison. (or whatever your title is when you work in a prison. i don't remember. i met him when i was doing this story on then-recent prison breakouts.) he was hot — big and muscley, butch, and there was that uniform. but he was really into madonna. and i mean really. on one of his shoulders, he had a tattoo of her face (well, her face from the cover of erotica). and after going to one of my gigs for the band i was in at the time (one of the ones where the singer quit and we didn't have time to look for someone new so one of the existing members had to step up to vocals, and that was usually me, and it seems like those were the only types of bands i was ever in), he said that my singing voice reminded him of madonna, circa "burning up". i didn't know whether to take that as a complement or not. things ended shortly after that.

keeping with the cop theme (well, if you can call it a theme, which it's not, really), this other guy i dated was the PIO (public information officer) of the local PD. also met him on assignment. but this guy used to make certain evidence disappear from the evidence room at the PD. usually the pot. it was a corrupt department, and i didn't mind the perks much, until my journalistic ethics started to get the better of me. things ended when he found out my fake ID was, well, fake, and thus my "of age"-ness. i guess that was unethical, too. heh.

another guy i dated years ago was the ex of one of my dyke friends before they both realized what they liked. (ah, high school.) anyway. all we ever did was make out. one time we were making out in the park nearest the community theater (i don't remember why we settled there), when he abruptly stopped and put his hands over his crotch. i asked him what was wrong, and he said that he had, ahem, well, the literal definition is "to utter suddenly and vehemently". you get it. i took it as a complement to my kissing prowess (or his lack of knowing better kissers).

the married man was a surprise. because i didn't know he was married. the last time i saw him, i was over at his place for dinner, dinner never happened, and before i knew it, he was looking at the clock and yelling at me to get out because his wife and kid would be home in about 10 minutes. it was really funny to see him frantically take out and put up all the family pictures he has meticulously hidden.

and those are the only ones that come to mind right now. back to beyond the valley of the dolls. one of the male characters just kinda came on to another male character and told him it was shame he wasn't a switchhitter. why did i not like this movie before?