i did crap today. didn't watch my soaps. haven't even really had the tv on much today. i avoided my trip to half price today because i needed to sort more. so now i have two central market paper bags filled with 155 comic books, 3 comic TPBs, 5 books, 15 VHS videos, 7 DVDs, 9 CDs, and 1 computer game. that should get me maybe $20.
also, my usual birfday blues are starting to creep in. i'm trying hard to fight, but, as you can see, today was a loss. it's just...blah. i don't want to do anything. i don't want to see anyone. i don't feel like talking to anyone. i'm tired of hearing happy news about people that aren't me. i've been dreading sending out the reminder e-mail about my birfday activities on saturday because i'm feeling like flaking out on them. i don't want to put on pants. i just want to get myself sloppy drunk and try to forget that i'm depressed.
also, i was expecting a check today for services rendered at my former place of freelance for work done on the last week of june and the first week of august. but i'm starting to have this sneaking suspicion that corporate is just going to lump all my last four invoices together into one check. which i guess is their prerogative, but that means i won't get my money until the first week of september. which means me being thrifty between now and then so i still have enough money to cover rent and my student loan on the 1st.
also, i've been obsessing over the e-mail i got yesterday (as a response to my invoice submission) from my former supervisor at my former place of freelance. maybe because i want something to be angry about for no good reason. "sorry i couldn't see you off on friday." why? did you think i was going to steal the huge computer i used as a footrest that also probably weighs as much as me? "sorry about the work situation." why? it was out of your control? it's not like you personally lost the account for the company that caused the layoffs. or did you? "we'll have some contract work from time to time that i'll let you know about." why? we never talked about it like you said we would after i said i had to think about it. because if we had talked about it, i would've told you not to waste your time because it's not worth my time to have a couple of hours work thrown my way every now and then. fuck that. "maybe things will get straightened out and we can get you back on a full-time basis." so...when hell freezes over? because there was barely enough work to keep me there on a part-time basis. GAH!
and now i'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. things are going bad for me, which means things are going great for everyone else i know. i swear to merciful zeus himself that if one of my friends, in the next few days, tells me they're engaged or pregnant or got a new, fabulous job or started dating a new, great person or anything really positive of the like, i'm just going to cut all contact with people for a couple of weeks so i can drink it out. that's reasonable, right?
need. beer.
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3 comments:
cripes...you're making ME want to drink.
want me to buy you the shark puppet? that way you can do window puppets during the commercials.
but you DON'T drink! am i that bad?
i'd feel bad if you got me the shark puppet when i didn't get you anything for your birthday. but window puppets? that's such a great, new way to freak out my neighbors.
exactly! you are THAT bad.
yes, but it's part of a new program I'm trying to start. it's called adopt-a-gay. I'm currently working on getting some government funding. I was thinking you could be the test gay. you show such great promise.
you're such a good boy. you deserve a shark puppet. better that than underwear and dirty sock puppets. hahahah
it's a gift. with no expectations...or strings. just don't kill yourself. I'll have to find another test gay!
think about it.
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